A Letter To A Mother Considering An Abortion

The following is a letter from a mother to a mother considering abortion. The recipient of the letter has recently found out that her unborn child has a degenerative genetic kidney/liver condition. The thoughts outlined here are similar to the post I wrote a while back about the 1.2 million unborn Caylee Anthony’s who die each year in America.

Many pro-choicers claim no man should have an opinion on abortion since it only affects a woman and her body (I don’t really agree with that). Many would add that no one should have an opinion unless they have had to raise a child with a genetic disorder that causes lifelong suffering (I don’t agree with that either). BUT here is a woman who exceeds both qualifications. I’ll let her eloquent appeal speak for itself:

E,

I am so sorry that you received this news. Please know there are hundreds around you who have been in this same or a very similar position. We know the pain that facing this decision brings you. Many others before you have followed the advice of doctors, family, and friends to terminate such a pregnancy. I understand that the decision they make is almost always out of the highest love for their child and a desire to prevent suffering. I want to be very sensitive to that, but to also encourage you to look from a different point of view.

It seems to be a foregone conclusion in our culture that preventing suffering is the highest goal, but I think we lose sight of the fact that sometimes in our lives the greatest blessings come to us after we have gone through the greatest suffering. I was advised to terminate with two of my ARPKD daughters after their 20 week ultrasounds. The following weeks, months, and years have been difficult and even terrifying, but I am so glad that I did not follow my doctors’ advice. Yes, my daughters have suffered to some degree (though I know not as much as many other ARPKD kids do), but their pain and tears have grown them into strong little girls who do not take life or health for granted, and who know how to be thankful for the little things in life. They are more mature, more wise, more grateful, more loving, than so many other children their age who have always had “perfect” lives.

Children with special needs have a way of blessing and inspiring those around them too, in a way that healthy children never could. I know greater suffering probably lies ahead for our girls as we face esophageal bleeds and organ transplantation, but we have talked these things through with our oldest, and if my seven year old daughter can face these things with courage, then perhaps she doesn’t need to be shielded from the suffering, but only equipped to walk through it. Someday my girls will take the faith and the strength that they learned from their sufferings and use it to inspire and bless all those around them. It would have been great loss for all who know them to have ended their lives early.

I know that this is one of the most sensitive and personal topics. I pray that I do not sound judgmental in any way. I only mean to offer hope.

With love,

K.E.

I am thankful for the composed thoughtful response of this mother.

But I don’t comprehend how values have gotten so twisted in our culture; Let’s try to explain this abortion reasoning to the unborn child: “You see, I didn’t want to see you suffer, so my only option was to murder you….”

Since when was murder no longer an extreme form of suffering?

Recent studies have shown an upwards of 90 % of down syndrome babies are aborted when diagnosed prenatally. I personally know couples who have raised down syndrome children, and they count it as one of the greatest blessing of their life. DS children are some of the most brightest, happiest, and caring human souls I’ve ever been around. But most parents put to death that life and potential blessings it brings before the innocent baby can even smile their first smile. The disgusting demonic doctrine of negative eugenics wasn’t just an historic aberration with the gas chambers of the Holocaust. The prejudiced science that made the concentration camps so horrific still maintains a stronghold in American thought and politics.

Yet God can turn the crimson tide of innocent blood with the innocent blood of His own dear Son.

So I’m sorrowful yet hopeful. And I’m forever pleading the blood of Christ over this tragic infanticide which speaks better things on our behalf (Hebrews 12:24).

Bryan Daniels

52 thoughts on “A Letter To A Mother Considering An Abortion

  1. originalapplejunkie

    Wonderfully written post Bryan.
    I’ve said before, but I am a firm believer of the fact that I feel everything happens for a reason. As a Christian, I believe Christ brings things and puts things in our lives for a purpose..everything we go through..we encounter has been orchestrated since before birth.
    It’s true that people always looks at the negatives towards unborn children w/special needs..so they abort them..how in any way is that assisting in reducing suffering is right? Like the writer said, these children can become blessings for so many people around them..there’s a purpose for everything.
    I hope many others see this view instead of all the other alternatives out there, and as for the health professionals advising these mothers to abort their unborn children..we should pray for them too. That’s not normal!

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  2. Bird

    Bryan. This was powerful. I was informed by a doctor when I was pregnant with Cait, my youngest child that my life was in danger and I needed to abort the baby immediately to save myself. I absolutely and adamantly refused, much to my doctor’s disgust and contempt, and yet, that pregnancy turned out to be the easiest and least complicated of all three of mine. Just goes to show you doctors don’t know everything…I made a good decision…my kid is awesome. :) Good post!!

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  3. Liza

    Thanks for this post! My mom had cervical cancer when I was two and she was pregnant at the time. Her doctor advised her to abort the baby or she put her life at risk as well as the baby. My mother refused and did what she could for treatment, knowing the risks. Twenty-four years later, my mom is still alive and my brother was born healthy. Why should doctors be advising women to abort unborn children?

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    1. Devon Fick

      Bearing a child can kill a woman, and the baby will die no matter what. Also, what if the child is born with an extreme defect and literally won’t be able to survive birth? My sister was a pro-life advocate. Her doctor told her that her baby would die if it was born, and she would probably die as well. She said she didn’t want to abort the baby. The died due to having one lung and my sister died due to complications.

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  4. 4sunshinesmommy

    I am thankful that someone who feels so strongly about the subject could put it into such encouraging words. I am not that eloquent. We actually were given a poor diagnosis for one of our sons and miraculously he is perfectly healthy. But going through the time they had to discuss our “options” and it made my stomach churn. Killing my baby…not an option. Did I hope for my baby to be healthy…of course…was I to abort him if he were not healthy…of course not!

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  5. dannypuppet

    I have worked with children with special needs for years. Several of them have been children wh were identified with deffects before birth and the parents chose the difficult task of raising these children over what seemed the easy route of abortion. All thse parents would agree that these children have been a blessing and in many cases their childlike faith in our Lord has been an inspiration. How can anyone decide that killing a child is taking away a horrible life they could have. God has a purpose for everything and even something we can see as a burden may have unexpected blessings. Thank you as always for your posts. It is encouraging to see otheres sticking by their faith when we live in a time where what we believe is being treated as if it is wrong.

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  6. writingforjoy

    AMEN. I have had a few storms and walked beside friends through MANY storms and certainly see the strength that comes out of them. I would never ‘choose’ them, but I am blessed despite the storms. I see that the Lord continually does a good work for those that love Him.

    Most often abortion is looked as such a selfish act on a mothers part. I agree that in many cases it is pure selfishness… but I am beginning to also see rather than a selfish act, it is a lack of understanding of the mothers ‘own’ worth. To not value your child, shows that they don’t value life. To fear raising someone with a illness or Genetic issue is one that crosses any ones mind that goes through it, but a woman willing to kill her child doubts her abilities. It is so important that we lift the woman around us up, making warriors that are willing to fight for their child. Woman that value life because they know their own worth, in the eyes of the Father, causing them to see the true value of their child’s life… Because there is a plan for that child, That they see the treasure that is truly life within them , and born out of a woman with a HIGH calling, motherhood, and she is worth this gift ;)

    Blessings and thank you for sharing!

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  7. Nate

    I appreciate this post, Bryan. And I especially appreciate the letter that you quoted. I think that’s the appropriate way to talk to each other about these issues. It’s irresponsible, in my opinion, to malign those who’ve had abortions when we don’t know the circumstances of their situations. There are some who have probably done it cavalierly. But I imagine most others have done it for health reasons; whether to safeguard the mother’s life, or to prevent suffering in the child’s life. Maybe having an abortion in either case is still the wrong decision, but we should at least appreciate the difficult circumstances that surround it.

    When it comes to the political debate that surrounds this issue, both sides often downplay and demonize the position of their opponents, which is very unfortunate. I find it ironic that the political left tends to oppose war, favors gun control, opposes the death penalty, yet defends a woman’s right to choose. I also find it ironic that the political right favors the death penalty, is typically hawkish in military matters, yet opposes abortion. I find it even more ironic that the political right often opposes entitlement and education programs that would help the very children whose lives they fought to save while en utero.

    In other words, I’m not sure that either side of this debate really has the moral high ground, and the more civil we can be in discussing the issue, the more likely we’ll be able to find a better way forward. It seems to me that better education, better standards of living, and better access to (and knowledge about) birth control would go a long way toward reducing the number of abortions. Kudos to the lady who wrote this letter for expressing her knowledgeable opinion on this issue without judging the person she wrote to.

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    1. chiefofleast Post author

      As always I appreciate your thoughtful and informative tone, Nate. I agree that there is plenty of hypocrisy to go around in both parties.

      One thing that stands out when I study abortion statistics: Very few women have abortions for medical issues like the life of the mom being at stake. You can see how wrong doctors are with that diagnosis by the above comments alone. Most women (according to their own selection in government surveys etc.) have abortions for “social reasons” (interference with work, school, wrong sex, wrong daddy, etc.) The number I keep finding is that an upwards of 90 % of women have abortions for social reasons.

      When 90% out of 1.2 million unborn a year are snuffed out for such selfish reasons, that is a somber tragedy to me. In America, we literally treat street dogs and endangered insects better than unborn humanity.Something has to shift, and I want education to be apart of it too, but I don’t know if that is enough.

      Peace and grace brother!

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      1. 4sunshinesmommy

        Bryan…I think we were posting at the same time…anyway…I have found that in research too, the majority of abortions have nothing to do with medical…purely social…so sad. I would take those babies in a heartbeat.

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      2. Nate

        Thanks Bryan. I wasn’t aware of those stats, but I’ll be sure to check them out. For the record, I’m no fan of abortion either; at the same time, I’m not sure that I want to see it outlawed. My reasons for that are fairly detailed, so I won’t go into them now. But I would strongly favor an approach that educates and encourages people to find another route — preferably one in which they never get pregnant to begin with.

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    2. 4sunshinesmommy

      I am against abortion for any reason…however…I have seen people go through heartbreaking trials and really not know what to do.and my heart breaks for them. I have also heard of so many after that suffer because of the regret of having an abortion. I would still love someone who had an abortion, love and condoning are 2 different things.

      Sadly, I have also talked with quite a few who think that abortion is a form of birth control…seriously…and they are not willing to take any other precautions to avoid pregnancy…AND they are educated on the matter. That just seems reckless and selfish to me.

      In terms of death penalty…to be honest, I have not formed my opinion on it yet…this is one issue that I debate with myself over. I do think there is a huge difference in the 2 issues. In abortion you are talking about an innocent baby without a choice. In the death penalty you are talking about someone who chose to do wrong and is facing the consequences. Just like when my kids are punished, I tell them it isn’t my choice it is theirs. They knew it was wrong and have to face the consequences. I do know that both issues are other humans taking a life, though.

      Anyway, just my 2 cents.

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      1. Nate

        Thanks for the reply. Just a quick point about the death penalty — there are documented instances where new evidence shows that we’ve executed the wrong person. That’s the main thing that gives me pause. The other issue is that it takes so long to go from a sentence to an actual execution that some of these people have made efforts to rehabilitate themselves. In a sense, we’re no longer executing the same person.

        Aside from that, I agree with your assessment. Thanks

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      2. dannypuppet

        This makes me think also of the person who has had an abortion and regrets it. Very often this hangs over their head and they feel they cannot be forgiven for doing this. I think it is important that we reach out in love to these women and let them know that God is still there for them and that no burden is too big for him to carry. It is important that we come with a message of Christ’s love and forgiveness.

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        1. Liza

          Agree with you on this. It’s not our place to judge, it’s between that person and God. But we definitely need to represent God’s words, in a more loving way.

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  8. the Ink Slinger

    It seems to be a foregone conclusion in our culture that preventing suffering is the highest goal, but I think we lose sight of the fact that sometimes in our lives the greatest blessings come to us after we have gone through the greatest suffering.

    Wow. So true, so true…

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  9. alwayzhis

    Bryan…another post that deals with very sensitive issues, but in a very Biblical way! I was told by everyone I knew to abort my last #7) child because I had 5 month old preemie twins to care for, and I’d had many complications in ALL of my pregnancies. It did not matter what anyone said, difficulties or not, I was not about to KILL my child.
    This woman’s letter is very touching and would be appropriate for any woman considering abortion.
    The further our society in the USA moves away from our God…the closer to we are to complete moral bankruptcy.
    Just my thinking.
    ~streim~

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  10. NanaDoll

    wonderful post, so much truth and what a reminder of the blessings that God grants us in the middle of such anguish at times–He is a great and loving God. so many thoughts running through my head, but suffice it to say, as a mother to three children, two who are adopted, one the result of a rape, three grandchildren who have been abandoned by their fathers…they are treasures, each one of them and God uses them for our good and His glory every single day.

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  11. irishsignora

    Well done, James. I agree with Nate that the first thing all of us need to do is to have our discussions respectfully and lovingly. Being an observant Catholic, I’m pretty inflexible in my opinion about abortion, but that faith also compels me to treat anyone who is suffering with compassion and reach out to her or him in love, not rage.

    Anyhoo, I did a post on the subject of life yesterday, if you’re interested. There’s an incredible video of Andrea Boccelli in it. http://dailymomprayers.wordpress.com/2012/05/14/wonderfully-made/

    Peace be with you,
    Kelly

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  12. arkenaten

    Having a point of view on something is fine: You do not agree with abortion.
    The current law says it is not your call to make. What ruins your case and any genuine credibility you may have brought to the arguement is to use a biblical angle to bolser your arguement; this is asinine.

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    1. chiefofleast Post author

      Of course it is not my call to make. We have laws that can be amended, repealed and instituted. “It’s the law” is not an argument for its validity. I’m glad there were people in Nazi Germany (though not enough) that resisted the “law of the day” and fought its injustice. They didn’t just throw up their hands and say “Aw shucks, the murder of Jews is law after all.”

      I quote one Scripture at the end and my argument is nullified? Nice try. I use common sense logic on this issue (which I believe Scripture backs):

      What makes the death of a 6 day old baby less of a tragedy than abortion?

      Is it location? One baby is still in the womb, the other happens to be out of it. What should this arbitrary locale be that marks the actual murder of a child? Six inches in the mother’s canal? Six inches outside of it? How does proximity to a mother’s birth canal define personhood?

      Is it cuter pictures? One baby is a fuzzy sonogram image that is playing with her umbilical cord, the other is a high-definition video playing with barbies. Are smaller, disfigured, or disabled humans undeserving of a right to live? Since when did appearance define personhood?

      Is it because of the unborn’s complete dependence on the mother? What of the other downtrodden souls in society that depend on other’s for life and well-being? Do invalids, elderly, mentally handicapped, severely disabled and medically diseased have a right to live? Since when did dependence define personhood?

      Are these the only marks of personhood that distinguish between a precious innocent baby and just a random “fetus”? From the moment of conception, a baby has human DNA and is a full-fledged member of the human community.

      Reply
      1. 4sunshinesmommy

        Bryan, I am glad you answered…I was thinking of typing similar info, but you beat me to it and you put it very well. So, I guess all I have to say is if it is asinine to want to protect the life of an innocent baby then I gladly accept that label.

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        1. arkenaten

          Unfortunately Bryan has yet to post my reply. He considedrs I need a special clearance first.
          It is not asinine to want to protect life. And if you want to interpret my original comment thus, then you are being presumptious and silly. But it IS asinine to invoke a deity in any form to get the point across.
          Maybe re read the comment?

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          1. arkenaten

            You probably would, Bird, no doubt.
            On a less barbed note: Given any thought about writing that book, btw? It would be a worthwhile venture, I feel sure.

          2. arkenaten

            I have no experience of writing non-fiction (I struggle writing a shopping list) but as the act of writing is considered cathartic, and you blog regularly and have a good feel for a story – along with a wicked sense of repartee when the mood takes :) – then why not write the book; maybe you’ll help a few folks, and make a few bucks to boot?

          3. arkenaten

            Ha, ha! Put a man on the spot, right?
            I’ m as honest as the day is long so’ll I will have to say, probably not. But not because I doubt your ability to tell a good story, Bird. No.
            Mostly because this type of story would do my head in, if it contains what I suspect. And this would go for you or anyone else.
            But I’d give it a thumbs up and reccomend it to friends and people I know who would read it.
            Unless you have some sneaky ulterior motive to try and turn me, the abject atheist into a Christian? :)

          4. 4sunshinesmommy

            Point taken…however non-religious arguments are null and void because of religious arguments…it does not change his credibility to include his opinion (which many of us find as truth) with facts. Obviously it doesn’t make it a better argument for you…but the facts and stats remain the same.

          5. Liza

            About a week ago, there was a long discussion on FB relating moral issues in the media and politics about abortion. We tried in every possible way avoid the religious topic, but going back to morality, you can’t relay avoid it. Even with the stated scientific facts which most Christians will support it with why God says no when it comes to science and morals in the Scripture, morality is still going to be on the table. When it comes to funds supporting abortions, that however, might be a different story, slightly anyway.
            My mother is a perfect example, she believed in family values and was pro-life, therefore refused to submit to people who told her my brother’s life would be worthless as well as her own. Regardless of what science told her, she took a risk and kept him. Science/facts is not always valid when it comes to morality. Knowing the difference between right and wrong… well, you decide.

          6. 4sunshinesmommy

            I agree with you that science and morality do not always go hand in hand. I also agree that the abortion issue has some VERY tricky instances. But I am convicted to stand up for life of the unborn. I know there are extreme situations out there…I also know the majority are not extreme. Anyway…you are right…it is hard to keep morals and beliefs out of it. Bringing them in, though should not discredit one’s facts.

          7. Liza

            When you rely on nothing but faith, facts have little relevancy in the topic. Faith and love conquers all. Facts can easily be discredited or proven wrong.

  13. 2btrue

    Great letter. Great post. Nice to see someone can approach this subject without judging and demeaning a person. Abortion is a horrible choice to consider and even more horrible to weigh. We need to treat people who consider this option with sensitivity and grace.
    As for those we are in contact with who may have made that decision, we still need sensitivity and grace, not judgment and name-calling. Jesus would do no less.

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  14. Ilyes

    Right on, theobromophile!First, being a woman is dnlaeitefy NOT a prerequisite for recognizing and appreciating the rights of women. I am very male, yet very committed to the core femenist ideology, unlike my wife. I encouraged her to keep her to hyphenate her last name after we married, which she did grudgingly, but later dropped her maiden name. I hate letters addressed to “Mr. & Mrs. male photog.” Why must her identity be subsumed in mine? (but I digress.)I am completely pro-life (or anti-choice, depending on your persuasion). In fact, I am so pro-life that I changed my stance on the death penalty. I didn’t feel that I could be pro-life and pro-death at the same time. (but, again, I digress).I think that, perhaps, Jesus was the first femenist. Women played a culturally uncharacteristic role in his ministry. He first revealed his divinity to the Samaritan woman at the well. And his first appearance after the resurrection was also to a women.

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  15. joyfuljoyride

    Reblogged this on Join the Joyride! ;-) and commented:
    This is a very powerful and sensitively-written position on a very controversial issue. For the followers of Christ, the choice is clear, although not easy. What gives courage to those who had to decide is that the Bible guarantees that “all things work together for good for His purpose.” For those who are not believers, there’s no use using the Bible to change their minds– the choice seem to be very clear to them as well. The key really is to get to know the Author of Life and what He has to say.

    Reply

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